Pounding out a life

One of the things about having an official, sanctioned label for your child is that you are suddenly relieved of the need to make them be normal. Yes, of course, you still want them to be functional, and self-reliant, a good person, happy, and have a life, basically. But you can finally fling away the charts and graphs by which you constantly measure your child against his peers. So all the other kids can get themselves dried off and changed at the pool without help. So what? And all the other kids can be dropped off at school and picked up from the curb, while yours needs to be escorted both ways. Who cares? And they can all peel around on their bikes without training wheels, while yours insists on keeping them in spite of the fact they force him to lean over precariously at more peril to his safety than riding with just two wheels would be? What's the big deal?

Your child has a uniquely wired brain, and a different way of experiencing his world. Your child is an anarchist at the most fundamental, neurological level. Perhaps you were too when you were young and you learned over time to play act and even internalize the ways of the normal. You hope your child will as well, but you wistfully hope too that he can keep some of his rounded curves as he fits himself into the square peg of statistical norms. Just like the people you now surround yourself with as an adult. Just like you.

Comments

[squid]

I do wonder how much harder it is for parents like you whose children are able to "pass" due to their verbal and cognitive skills. No one gives me shit about Leelo, as he's so obviously not anywhere near typical. I am glad that you now have an official label to stick up peoples' butts when they have unrealistic expectations about your child.

[badgermama]

Me too. And I so agree with you about the square pegs, and think that it is often the most "inconvenient for grownups" bits of kids that hold the most interesting promise for their future... Our flaws and our virtues have the same roots.