He's Listening

Last night, I got a call from a hearty recorded voice. "Hi! I'm Harry DingleNuts from Eyewitness News!" it greated me. I agreed by pushing number 1 to take a phone survey. Results to be broadcast tonight! The survey voice was much calmer and wanted to know such things as: do I belive that Islam had been high-jacked by extremists (push 1) or not (push 2); is American policy in Iraq making things worse (push 1) or not (push 2); is oppression of women Islamic (push 1) or cultural (push 2); and oh, some other not too badly though out questions, all of which could amazingly be answered in binary code. Who needs nuance? Why bother with pushing 3 or 4 or 6? Of course I came in with all the right liberal responses. It was easy. Islam: a great religion! War: bad! Support our troops: bring them home! Thinking nervously as I selected my responses, Dick Cheney is listening in right now to all my digital beeps and boops and putting a mark next to my name.